Presidenting for Dummies
While I know that Donald Trump will never, ever read this (or any other book, by any account), I’d like to share my wisdom from the perspective of a 61-year-old American voter.
Yeah, I know. I did not vote for him, I’m protesting his election-but I thought it’d be good to list those things that I (and probably many others) would like to have happen while he’s supposedly running the country.
So here goes with my list of ideas that I believe Trump would be wise to heed:
1. GET OFF TWITTER, FOREVER. It makes you look like a whiny, spoiled 4-year-old throwing a temper tantrum every single time you get riled up and tweet something obnoxious. You’ve ranted and raved about so many things and people, it’s getting exhausting to keep track of who you’re mad at now. We’re tired of it. Your phone could probably use the break, too.
2. Learn some new words:’big league,”beautiful’,’great’,’fantastic’,’wonderful’, etc, are all adjectives used to describe things or people. You are not one of those people they describe by using them too much. Your vocabulary is so limited I’m surprised when you use a word that has more than 2 syllables and 10 letters.
3. DIVEST ALL OF YOUR HOLDINGS, NOW: This is a big thing. By having the appearance of conflicts of interest going into the White House, it makes you look like a 2 bit hustler looking for the next scam victim. Those who voted for you probably don’t realize that you’re indebted to at least 10 banks, domestic and foreign for hundreds of millions of dollars. That you do does not count for very wise business or money management. I can see why your companies went bankrupt-you just walked away with no scars after stiffing all of your investors.
4. Stop dissing our country and government: Every time you say that the CIA, or other government agencies are making things up, can’t be trusted or lying, you are telling us that we don’t have a government that we can trust. Some of these people put their lives on the line for you, me, and millions of others every day to keep this country safe. A little respect would go a long way to healing the huge divide that has appeared and is growing by leaps and bounds every day. PS :Please remember that you are now the head of the very same government you’re so disrespectful of.
5. Get over the election, already: you are the sorest winner in the history of this country. You keep slamming those who did not vote for you as losers and your enemies. That’s a good way to keep them as such. We’re stuck with you for 4 years-you could be at least gracious about it.
6. Get rid of those low-life trash types in your administration: Steve Bannon is a racist..as is Jeff Sessions. Your billionaire friends are not our best friends. They’d rather take the money and run the country to dust. Thanks a lot. This is not ‘change and hope’..more like ‘death and destruction’.
7. Stop admiring Vladimir Putin: as much as you’d like to be best buds with this guy, don’t do it. He’s a thug, killer and former KGB agent who’s personally had people murdered on his personal orders. He’s invaded and taken over entire countries. He helped Syria to destroy Aleppo and killing thousands of innocent men, women and children. He’s not someone I’d want to cross, ever. Tony Soprano had it right: “Don’t ever fuck with the Russians”. It makes you look like a traitor to do this..and we don’t like our presidents to be traitors, either.
8. Start acting your age: You’re 70 years old. I’ve never known anyone that age to behave so immaturely as you have. You really do have a problem with your ego, your temper and your attitude. Being a narcissist is a handicap, I know, but you don’t have to prove it every single day.
9. Realize that we have laws and rules for a reason: Read the Constitution, if you ever get the chance to break away from Twitter. It’s an enlightening document. It’s all about how this country is supposed to be governed. Because you’ve never held elected office, you might be surprised that it exists at all. Have someone interpret it for you, if need be-or write it out in crayon. It’s important.
10. Stop with the ‘I, I, I” theme: Nobody likes an egotist..and you’re a great one, who claims credit for everything, including the sun rising and setting. You’re not the only person in this universe, nor are you the only American who counts. There are a lot of people in this country and world. You’re just one of them.
11. Learn how to tell the truth: There’s an old joke about lawyers that applies to you-“How do you tell a lawyer is lying? When his lips move.” To be perfectly blunt, you have never told the truth about anything in the past 70 years that we’re aware of. You don’t seem to know the difference between the truth and a lie; perhaps to your poorly trained mind they are the same. No matter: you’re an inveterate and intolerable liar and we’re going to call you out on this every single time. You’re not going to get away with it now, nor should you. Most people don’t like liars, either in their personal life or as a President.
Finally, one last admonition:
12. START ACTING LIKE A PRESIDENT AND NOT A 10 YEAR OLD SCHOOLYARD BULLY: You were elected to this damned job, so start acting like you can even do it. If you can’t handle it, just resign and leave us to choose someone who can. We’ll allow you to admit you were badly mistaken in your capabilities..and I’m sure we can find someone who is far better qualified to do this job.
I’ll leave this here, and pray for the people in power to use the 25th Amendment of the Constitution to remove this most unfit and unstable man from the highest office in this country.
It can’t come soon enough.